Thoughts Behind...

After years of calculative thinking and cautiousness, in 2020, I started living a little more in accordance to the f*** it mantra. Quite obviously, senior year is the year of worry, and the pandemic has not been of help; but recently I've taken the mindset of not caring so much and not doting on what I can't control. (It could also be because of my avoidant personality type, but for now, I'll take it as a good thing.) It's easy to be positive when things go your way, and I've had the privilege of being able to be positive for my whole life. Amidst aspects of my life that suddenly went wrong this year, I have deviated slightly from my typical upbeat self at times; but more and more, I see how beneficial it is to think f*** it  (with consciousness, of course). As much as everyone suggests looking on the bright side of things, when you don't want to, it really sucks. And while I can't say I actively tried to look on the bright side everyone spoke of, I did seek...

Despite the countless pieces of legislation passed under Roosevelt, what got America out of the depression was World War II. After World War I, America was actually very Isolationist. So as Roosevelt approached the war, he gradually promoted an Interventionist mindset. I mean, if Germany's going to intervene with everyone, why can't the U.S.?  So Roosevelt started getting involved with revising neutrality acts to allow for a cash-and-carry policy and later the Lend-Lease act so that the U.S. could provide arms and aid to the French and UK. And then, Pearl Harbor happened, so we all know what came next. Actual war. He was pretty much priming the U.S. for war so that when war actually happened, everyone wouldn't be in shock. Although FDR didn't live to see the end of the war he brought his country into, according to my AP Gov breakout rooms, he was deemed the most worthy of all the remaining Presidents to be carved into Mt. Rushmore. Both for the democratic party and demo...

"My fellow Americans..." This is how FDR started his Fireside Chats immediately after his inauguration. This became one of his most famous programs--his connection to the American common people through the radio. Think about Biden on Instagram Live... In fact, Biden actually had a campaign called #TeamJoeTalks where celebrities endorsed him. Needless to say, FDR was a trendsetter. FDR's version vs Biden's Roosevelt is also known for his Hundred Days and the First New Deal, in which he preserved the banks with the bank holiday and created the Public Works Administration (PWA), Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC), the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), and the Agricultural Adjustment Administration (AAA) to stimulate the economy. I could go on and on about the legislation FDR passed (which, trust me, was not easy to memorize sophomore year) but you get the gist. 

Setting aside the hot gossip of FDR's personal life, the 32nd POTUS started his political career as New York state senator in 1910. Interestingly enough, Roosevelt was recruited by the democratic party because of his relation to the former President. Imagine being begged to become a political figure because of your last name. If the Korean President was a Song, I'd be one of 683,000 recruited to the state senate! FDR kept climbing his way up and even ran alongside Governor Cox as the Vice-President candidate in the 1920s. In 1928, Hoover won the election. During this time, Roosevelt went to become New York governor. We all know that soon after, the Great Depression hit, and it comes to no one's surprise that people wanted change. I mean take a look at this past year, our economy and unemployment took a hit because of the pandemic. The people wanted change, and people got change... Biden. So history repeats itself because Roosevelt, as a democrat, ended the string of Republi...

Franklin D. Roosevelt was born in New York on January 30, 1982. He was born to two very wealthy families, through which he had the luxury of meeting President Grover Cleveland, becoming conversant in German and French, and attending boarding school in Massachusetts. Needless to say, his success was not coincidental. As much as today's political and activist climate is wary of privilege, we actually see Roosevelt as a giver- a face of welfare. So although many would look at FDR's past as an unfair advantage, his good works offset that disapproval. In fact, his Christian boarding school emphasized serving the less fortunate. An altruistic man with resources--what more can we ask for? Unsurprisingly this President went to Harvard, during which his distant cousin Theodore Roosevelt became President. He's truly a man of connections. Not only did he become influenced by Teddy Roosevelt, but he was also influenced by Teddy's niece! In fact, FDR got married to his distant cousi...

One of the most influential leaders of the democratic party and democracy as a whole, Franklin Delano Roosevelt left our world seventy-five years ago. Being such a huge part of America's development (and APUSH curriculum), I thought it would only be natural to examine FDR in history and  FDR's history. Now, let me take you along a brief, or not so brief, journey of Roosevelt's life.

It's the end of April, over a year since the pandemic transformed our world. Like a blanket covering our heads, the coronavirus and the lockdown that ensued has suffocated us for far too long. I remember writing about the pandemic months ago--about how terrible school, our social lives, and mental states became. Now, we remain in this in-between, where we can kind of go out, but where we still fear. Life isn't terrible, but it's not amazing. We can't even complain, but at the same time, we can't enjoy life fully. We've gotten so habituated to the bad, that now, we're just languishing--tolerating these moments. I used to tell my mom about my whole day, starting from before class started to every hour's minute events. Now, when she asks, "how was school?" I can't even bring myself to say "good"--not even "bad." It doesn't make sense, but my instinct is to say, "it just is." Is... what? I don't know either...

We sat for a minute in silence. I thought there was a Zoom malfunction. Then, with no context, Estragon said, "Nothing to be done." And from there on, we remained in confusion. The play goes a little something like this: *Estragon and Vladimir sit up and down abruptly. *They waddle around. *They raise their voices and chatter about the Bible, a carrot, and a slave (as you can see, their range is wide) The mere abruptness of their movements and speech resembles a puppet show or a PBS children's show from the early 2000s. Especially with the limited view of rocks and the sky, it feels like the set of the Teletubbies, except with two (and later four) strange men disrupting the peace. Of course, we know it's a play, but the ridiculousness of the setting and plot highlights just how far Waiting for Godot departs from reality. We're hyperaware of the fact that it's a story. Similarly, in my book Farewell my Concubine, there's a story within the greater story of ...

Dear Giannina Braschi, Reading your "Empire of Dreams," I can't help but note how much of a nightmare our society has become--or, likely, has always been. With the rise of attention toward Asian American hate crimes, it seems that America has been overtaken by racism and violence. Over thirty years ago, you wrote this collection of poems. Today, statistics tell us that we are crawling toward a future of white people losing their position as the majority. But immigrants are still seen as those same aliens that have "invaded" America like those shepherds you once wrote about did. Is this the sacrifice we make to achieve the American Dream? As generations before us say, it's a price we are lucky to pay. The Empire of Dreams seems to be our American Dream imperialized and oppressed by American culture. What kind of response did your poetry illicit? Was it interpreted as a radical outburst? How much attention did it garner from nonimmigrants? I am trying to disti...

Tumultuous avalanches and  tumultuous thought We are our own destruction. Poke at its volatility and it might just come down. In this endless cycle called global warming or it could be in this restless state of mind swarming. What's next? The continuation of a journey for success? So snow will pile down or  maybe none at all. So our shoulders will droop down with faces appalled. Why can't we live  correctly, simply, strongly? Do good, be good. Don't look good and just say good. What is good? Let life be decorated with simplicity and the world as well. Clean the mind, clean the ground.

Is it an ideal?  A matter of nature?  Nurture? No. It's a title. It's like a blurb--a sneak peek--but it's so much more. It forms the framework of the mind, or as psychologists may compare it to, the schema. Titles fit into a single phrase or even a single word, yet have the ability to transform our entire interpretation of a set of text. And it's fascinating- that one addition can change our entire perspective of a situation, a person, and, of course, a poem. That's how we work. We tend to identify someone by a lasting impression. She could've been a friend for years, but if someone told me she did something wicked, I would be wary. This beach could be beautiful, but if someone told me there were chemicals embedded in the sand, I would be wary. Even political theories that I'm adamant about--I could easily become doubtful if someone dealt me new information. On the contrary, when someone informs me of new positive information, it goes beyond adding informat...

They chanted His name. We chant his name. They strived to be like God. We strive to be God. I started reading this book called  Homo Deus: the history of tomorrow  by Yuval Noah Harari. It takes a twist on Homo Sapiens, and instead, evolves humans into diety. Outrageous, right? Except that's what humankind as a whole is doing, not just Harari. As humans, we strive to know more every day. We pluck an apple off of the Tree of Knowledge because we remain unsatiated by what we have. It's not necessarily greed because we aim to improve and prevent hardship. Although we don't aim to be God, we step toward God with every point of growth we experience. A prime example of this is in technology. My mom told me that she used to wonder if universal video calling would be possible. Well, just yesterday, I spoke to my friend from across the world, connecting in a matter of seconds. Today, I wonder if roads full of self-driving cars are possible. Inconceivable , I think, but who knows wha...

Besides the obvious displeasure that I find in badly behaved children, one of the things that worries the most about having kids is raising them right. In recent weeks, my blog has taken a religious turn, so it comes to no one’s surprise that I’ve prayed in an attempt to find wisdom as I will one day become a parent. But let’s discuss the physical steps to raising a good child. I’m a sucker for self-help so maybe I’ll dabble into writing some too (as much as a childless seventeen-year-old can): Encourage. I’ve found obvious evidence that intrinsic motivation and encouragement outweigh punishment. Instill confidence and high self-esteem in your kids yourself. I can guarantee that in my case, any athletic ability I hold is not innate. It comes from my dad ridiculously complimenting my lousy baseball throwing skills at a young age. After believing that I was good at throwing, I started trying harder and getting better. It’s all mental. Have trust.      In Purple Hibiscus...

"Father Benedict usually referred to the Pope, Papa, and Jesus- in that order." *Doubletake* Is this some sore sort of variation of the Holy Trinity? As a Christian, reading Purple Hibiscus  makes me uneasy. Papa, a pious Christian, physically abuses his wife. Aren't Christians supposed to be moral? Yes, I'm not close to being perfect (in fact, why I believe Jesus to be my savior), but seeing the blatant hypocrisy of Papa and many other church leaders is questionable. He may donate and be mentioned in the priest's sermons, but don't be deluded, that's not what Christianity entails. I've seen it myself. In a Korean church full of tradition, there's a sort of order that must be kept. Bow to the pastors and highly esteemed elders. Invite church leaders for dinner. Give generously. Yet despite my performative respect I offer to such leaders, I've heard of the church politics, financial disputes, and personal stories behind facades. I hope I'm n...

Despite being in AP Lit and not AP Lang, I've written more in the past four months than I've ever written in my life. That comes to no one's surprise, though. It was college application season! Yes, I wouldn't call it exactly enjoyable , but, in retrospect, I look at this experience with excitement. Let me say, I used to fear  essays. I feared writing. I feared racking through my mind to describe thoughts with words that didn't quite suffice. Just the thought of a paper planted a pit of dread in my stomach. But thanks to this blog, I've found my voice and inevitably developed it as I shared about myself with colleges that don't even know my face. I've channeled my genuine sentiments and expressed them through the nuances of each word, something I couldn't do just five months ago.  With prompts dumbfounding me, I was forced to scrutinize my personality and conjure a character for myself. And to my surprise, I got creative. I stretched trivial traits i...

After months of cultivating the definitions of nihilism, existentialism, and absurdism into a single blur of pessimism, I’ve finally taken it upon myself to explore why so many people find meaning in philosophy. Although, I have to ask, is there really any meaning to philosophy? After all, epistemological nihilism asserts that nothing we know has meaning because we know nothing . But as I delve deeper into the nuances of these three viewpoints, I, too, agree that life itself lacks purpose. Does this make me a pessimist? Does this go against my Christian beliefs? Well, shown through the thematic distinctions between The Stranger and The Alchemist , the disorder of the universe inherently has no effect on a person’s life; but one’s philosophical response to it does. So, to answer these questions, no, not necessarily. To start, what is nihilism? Well, nihilism expresses that the key components of life have no intrinsic meaning. This philosophy can be refined into categories that address ...

 I sit in my world history class, peering at an array of faces on my screen. All freshmen, classmates speak with an eagerness and a light in their eyes; they're yet to be dulled by the drabness of high school. They're faces, still undeveloped and bright, remind me of children. Given, I probably appear like a sophomore (at the most) to others, but I'm surprised to see the effect of a three-year gap on our appearances. I still distinctly remember being greeted as I entered my second-grade classroom by Ms. Schwarz's guest: a past student who was now a freshman in high school. She stood heads above me, with the face and personality of an adult. Thoughts ran through my head as I looked at her in awe. Will I ever reach high school? How does it feel to be so old and mature? Now thoughts run through my mind as I sit at home, being greeted by high-pitched "hi's" and "hellos" projected through my computer. When did I get so old? Why don't I feel like a...

Her eyes peeked open for the first time that morning, and she caught a glimpse of white chaotically fluttering to the ground. It was one of the first snowfall of the season. Instead of sitting by the window and watching the scenery, she chose to grab the device on the floor and join the sound of teaching in bed. Pages slowly opened, but she chose to watch the ones on the smaller screen---the luxury of the new system. With music and the faint sound of clicking in the background, she scrolled endlessly, enjoying an easy morning to herself. During the break of her break, she finally responded to the pings of friends. No morning was spent alone without the virtual company of those who care for her. Soon conversations came to an end, and real work started. New concepts became known to her, and her mind ran through calculations and questions. Without rest, she worked, letting 90 minutes fly by. Finally with a brain exhausted, she filled up her stomach on a traditional homemade meal alongside...

This picture makes me so  uncomfortable.  While it's eye-opening to find reason behind the normalities of point of view in film, the eye-level shot appears far from normal in my eyes. Is it the purple suit? The hands crossed? Or the specific positioning of the viewer on a table that makes me so uneasy? It's probably a combination of my suspicions, but I've decided that to its core, it's the eye contact that creates my discomfort. Most of these types of shots never reach the extent of eye contact. Instead, the similarity in levels creates a feeling of similarity shared by the character and viewer. There is no power disparity, no difference in viewpoint. Look at Forrest Gump and this eye-level shot (note that he's not looking at you). But once eye contact comes into play, the connection is too strong. Of course, any good producer will aim to form a connection for an audience to a film. However, there's comfort in a screen lying between a film and its viewer. It...

 Is optimism the same thing as having hope? One of my staple traits is being an optimist--looking at situations with the glass half full. I'm the type of person where even the tiniest things will make me excited. Yet as we look at the temptation to look at what's only pleasant, will our standard for "pleasantness" be harder to meet? There's a question of whether always finding the good in something numbs the ability to reach new heights of joy. Waking up to sunny weather always provides a pleasant surprise to my morning, even in the summer. Of course, by mid-July, I am accustomed to the typical clear and bright weather, but I will never fail to appreciate a beautiful day. Every time I remind myself of the beauty that I know I'll miss in the winter, I savor the crispness of the air. This takes me to being simultaneously faced with whether I can appreciate the weather because I'll one day lose it or because the sun always makes me happy. Is it a matter of co...